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I will start by saying that yes, it is a much used joke, but that doesn't mean it has gotten any less humorous over time, at least for me. I like the style you used here. While I love Lauren's style in the show, art is meant to be creative and original, and yet so many artists seem to judge based off of how exactly you've managed to re-create rather than re-imagine.
The only things that I might make a point on are the lack of eyelashes, which make Dash look a might more unfeminine than you may have wanted(who knows) and how plain her hair looks. If you were to cover their cutie marks and have her and derpy stand next to one another, the only distinguishable feature would be the eyes.
Other than that I think it's great, and very humorous. Dash's expression was great, and Twilight peaking out when she zaps Dash is a cute touch. Overall I think you did a wonderful job.